Thursday, 17 January 2013

Super Submission Letter - Mark 1

Submission letters are hard. Trying to sound original but not quirky, trying to pitch your book but not sound arrogant, trying to make each letter individual but not sound like a stalker.
However, you should be reassured that as long as your letter sounds nothing like the one below you're probably not doing too badly ;)

Dear Sir/Madam

 I have riten a 900 page children's picture book about a vampire rabbit called Bunpire. His jurney to self enlitenment contains many important mesages that children need to know. I am sure once you have read the enclosed handriten copy you will agree that this book will make me milions.
 I have chosen you to reprezent my book and ensure I get the best deal posible including a large persentage of all film rights and merchandizing.
 I expect you to contact me forthwith with a contract so that no time is wasted and I can begin my meteorik rise to fame and fortune which will make even JK Rowling's career look mediocre.

Yours expektantly

A. L Ousywriter

P.S - I have also included my own drawings for which I expect to be paid dubble.

P.P.S - Please don't keep me waiting, if you miss out on this deal you will always regret it!!!!!

P.P.P.S - I have riten another 17 books about Bunpire's adventures and these will be available to you once the contract has been signed.

P.P.P.P.S - Please don't suggest any changes or editing as my genius cannot be interfered with or even understud by most people.


  1. Ah ha ha! I find myself strangely drawn to Bunpire....

    1. Well, no ideas are wasted Kathryn - perhaps Bunpire will make his mark in the future ;)

  2. Great Lorraine!
    Me too, I like Bunpire and can picture hims so easily

    1. Thanks Jan - Those big rabbit teeth would make excellent fangs it's true...

  3. Wow…this post tingled my toes. I’m so full of admiration and respect for firefighters in general and now you in particular Stewart. Thank you for sharing.
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