"What's the point?" She asked me.
"The point is I want to get published."
"But you'll never get published. Look at the statistics!"
"I have but they're not really representative. I mean, they apply to the masses, not to people like me who take it seriously. After all I've done courses and workshops and read books and blogs and booked a place at the SCBWI conference, that must improve my chances!"
The fairy raises her perfect eyebrow at me.
"Maybe slightly but it's still nearly impossible so why are you bothering?"
"Because I want to see my books on shelves in bookshops that's why."
"But that's a dream and how many people actually get to live out a dream? Hardly anyone that's who."
"But it could happen one day, if I work hard."
"Not necessarily. You could do everything right, you could work hard for years and years and STILL never get published so what's the point of trying? Why don't you just give up? Make your life easier, save yourself from the pain..."
She smiles at me beguilingly and a small part of me responds. Maybe it would be better?
"But I came close, I nealy found an agent, I must have a chance surely?"
"But you failed. You messed it up. You weren't good enough then and you'll probably never be good enough."
In case you thought fairies were cute you were wrong. They're mean.
"I need to keep trying, every time I write something I get better and I learn from the rejections and I think I'm improving."
"But even if you do get published you probably won't make any money and your book might flop and no publisher will take you on again and really why put yourself through the heartache?"
"Because I want children to read my books, I want them to love my books."
"But most children would rather play computer games and books will probably die out soon."
"Oh just shut up you annoying fairy!"
"Oh that's nice that is! I'm just trying to help. Trying to save you time and effort and pain, trying to help you face the facts about getting published,"
"I know the facts! I know it's hard and painful and I might never ever get there but I'm doing it anyway alright!"
"But what's the point?"
"The point is I enjoy it. So there. Now B****r off and annoy someone else!!"
That's one mean fairy - she harasses me plenty too! And yes - the point is we enjoy it, we have to enjoy the journey or else we really wouldn't bother. So good for you for telling her to b*****r off!
ReplyDeleteThanks Yona, it was quite liberating telling her where to go, I do recommend it if you ever see her!
DeleteI think that's fairy spelled W-I-T-C-H!
ReplyDeleteGreat post - oh so true.
Hi there, I think you could also replace that W with a B !!
DeleteBusy fairy that one!
ReplyDeleteShe definitely enjoys her job waaaay too much ;)
DeleteThat fairy needs to be caught and trapped under a plant pot! Good for you for telling her to b*****r off!
ReplyDeleteHave also considered pulling off her wings and sticking her wand where the sun doesn't shine!!
DeleteDefinitely important to acknowledge that annoying little fairy and take into account that it might not necessarily happen.
ReplyDeleteBUT if we enjoy the journey and keep reminding ourselves of our achievements and looking back at how far we've come, then it does seem worth the effort, even if the fairy might turn out to be right in the end. As long as we are happy.
And having read your work Lorraine and followed your recent near-miss with an agent, I certainly don't think it's time for you to give in to the fairy yet!
Thanks Miriam, I will endeavour to keep trying for a while longer anyway! Mean fairy or not;)
DeleteI don't think I'm going to believe in fairies anymore. They're mean. I shall believe in myself instead.
ReplyDeleteWell, don't be too hasty, there may be a "You can do it because you're fabulous" Fairy somewhere out there Lorrie! I hope to meet her someday ;)
ReplyDelete