Tuesday, 18 December 2012

Interview with Santa!

Christmas is fast approaching but I have managed to wangle a quick interview with Father Christmas himself!
Enjoy!

Me - Santa, thank you so much for talking to me today, I know this is a busy time of year for you.

Santa - Indeed it is my dear but it's a pleasure to be asked. Don't get many interviews these days you know!

Me - Well we're very grateful. Now, tell me, do you get many letters from aspiring authors?

Santa - Absolutely scads!

Me - And what are they usually asking for?

Santa - Number one on their wishlist is an Agent.

Me - They do seem to be rather important. Um...what are the chances of receiving one for Christmas?

Santa - There are no agents in my sack I'm afraid.

Me - Oh.

Santa - I'm sorry my dear but they're an absolute nightmare to wrap!

Me - I see. Is there anything else they ask for?

Santa - Let me think, oh yes, a publishing deal.

Me -  Well, they must be easier to wrap, any chance of one of those under the tree?

Santa - No. I won't be bringing any of those either.

Me - So, no agents, no publishing deals, what will you be bringing to all those desperate pre published authors for Christmas?

Santa - I've got plenty of books in my bag, some lovely notebooks and pens, a laptop or two, everything you need to get writing!

Me - But Santa, we want an agent, we want a publishing deal !

Santa - You don't need me for one of those. They'll come as soon as you've written the best book you possibly can. 

Me - sigh

Santa - I'm afraid some things you have to work for my dear and trust me, it will mean far more to you that way when it finally happens.

Me - But it's so hard!

Santa - Hard? Try being Santa for the day - 5000 overexcited elves to supervise, 730000000000 presents to wrap and not to mention the piles of reindeer sh.....

Me - Okay! Thank you for that Santa.

Santa - Thank you, my dear and Merry Christmas to everyone!


                                                       I'll be back in the New Year! xx

9 comments:

  1. I can see that Santa is still cheesed off after all those annoying letters I wrote him last year! And it sounds like he isn't going to bring me a publishing deal or an agent this year either. Well, as long as there's chocolate...

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    1. Hi Nick, he did seem a little peeved but must be hard to be jolly all the time!
      Loved your letters by the way and hope plenty of chocolate is under your tree this year:)

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  2. You obviously haven't been good enough! I asked Santa for an agent and a publishing deal and I got both! (Tip - just lie and tell him you always hand your homework in on time and you are always nice to your sister)

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    1. Dear Dougal, you're a very smug, I mean, lucky boy.
      p.s - I hope Santa doesn't find out you've been lying or it'll be straight onto the naughty list!! Don't worry though, your secret is safe(ish) with me.

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  3. \the tooth fairy brought me my agent - just sayin'

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    Replies
    1. Perhapsa letter writing campaign to the Easter Bunny/Sandman/Tooth Fairy is in order then Kathryn?? Thanks for the tip! x

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  4. LOL- This is very funny! Thanks

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    ReplyDelete