Christmas is fast approaching but I have managed to wangle a quick interview with Father Christmas himself!
Me - Santa, thank you so much for talking to me today, I know this is a busy time of year for you.
Santa - Indeed it is my dear but it's a pleasure to be asked. Don't get many interviews these days you know!
Me - Well we're very grateful. Now, tell me, do you get many letters from aspiring authors?
Santa - Absolutely scads!
Me - And what are they usually asking for?
Santa - Number one on their wishlist is an Agent.
Me - They do seem to be rather important. Um...what are the chances of receiving one for Christmas?
Santa - There are no agents in my sack I'm afraid.
Me - Oh.
Santa - I'm sorry my dear but they're an absolute nightmare to wrap!
Me - I see. Is there anything else they ask for?
Santa - Let me think, oh yes, a publishing deal.
Me - Well, they must be easier to wrap, any chance of one of those under the tree?
Santa - No. I won't be bringing any of those either.
Me - So, no agents, no publishing deals, what will you be bringing to all those desperate pre published authors for Christmas?
Santa - I've got plenty of books in my bag, some lovely notebooks and pens, a laptop or two, everything you need to get writing!
Me - But Santa, we want an agent, we want a publishing deal !
Santa - You don't need me for one of those. They'll come as soon as you've written the best book you possibly can.
Me - sigh
Santa - I'm afraid some things you have to work for my dear and trust me, it will mean far more to you that way when it finally happens.
Me - But it's so hard!
Santa - Hard? Try being Santa for the day - 5000 overexcited elves to supervise, 730000000000 presents to wrap and not to mention the piles of reindeer sh.....
Me - Okay! Thank you for that Santa.
Santa - Thank you, my dear and Merry Christmas to everyone!
I'll be back in the New Year! xx