Tuesday, 18 December 2012

Interview with Santa!

Christmas is fast approaching but I have managed to wangle a quick interview with Father Christmas himself!

Me - Santa, thank you so much for talking to me today, I know this is a busy time of year for you.

Santa - Indeed it is my dear but it's a pleasure to be asked. Don't get many interviews these days you know!

Me - Well we're very grateful. Now, tell me, do you get many letters from aspiring authors?

Santa - Absolutely scads!

Me - And what are they usually asking for?

Santa - Number one on their wishlist is an Agent.

Me - They do seem to be rather important. Um...what are the chances of receiving one for Christmas?

Santa - There are no agents in my sack I'm afraid.

Me - Oh.

Santa - I'm sorry my dear but they're an absolute nightmare to wrap!

Me - I see. Is there anything else they ask for?

Santa - Let me think, oh yes, a publishing deal.

Me -  Well, they must be easier to wrap, any chance of one of those under the tree?

Santa - No. I won't be bringing any of those either.

Me - So, no agents, no publishing deals, what will you be bringing to all those desperate pre published authors for Christmas?

Santa - I've got plenty of books in my bag, some lovely notebooks and pens, a laptop or two, everything you need to get writing!

Me - But Santa, we want an agent, we want a publishing deal !

Santa - You don't need me for one of those. They'll come as soon as you've written the best book you possibly can. 

Me - sigh

Santa - I'm afraid some things you have to work for my dear and trust me, it will mean far more to you that way when it finally happens.

Me - But it's so hard!

Santa - Hard? Try being Santa for the day - 5000 overexcited elves to supervise, 730000000000 presents to wrap and not to mention the piles of reindeer sh.....

Me - Okay! Thank you for that Santa.

Santa - Thank you, my dear and Merry Christmas to everyone!

                                                       I'll be back in the New Year! xx


  1. I can see that Santa is still cheesed off after all those annoying letters I wrote him last year! And it sounds like he isn't going to bring me a publishing deal or an agent this year either. Well, as long as there's chocolate...

    1. Hi Nick, he did seem a little peeved but must be hard to be jolly all the time!
      Loved your letters by the way and hope plenty of chocolate is under your tree this year:)

  2. You obviously haven't been good enough! I asked Santa for an agent and a publishing deal and I got both! (Tip - just lie and tell him you always hand your homework in on time and you are always nice to your sister)

    1. Dear Dougal, you're a very smug, I mean, lucky boy.
      p.s - I hope Santa doesn't find out you've been lying or it'll be straight onto the naughty list!! Don't worry though, your secret is safe(ish) with me.

  3. \the tooth fairy brought me my agent - just sayin'

    1. Perhapsa letter writing campaign to the Easter Bunny/Sandman/Tooth Fairy is in order then Kathryn?? Thanks for the tip! x

  4. LOL- This is very funny! Thanks

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