Super Submission Letter - Mark 1

Submission letters are hard. Trying to sound original but not quirky, trying to pitch your book but not sound arrogant, trying to make each letter individual but not sound like a stalker.
However, you should be reassured that as long as your letter sounds nothing like the one below you're probably not doing too badly ;)

Dear Sir/Madam

 I have riten a 900 page children's picture book about a vampire rabbit called Bunpire. His jurney to self enlitenment contains many important mesages that children need to know. I am sure once you have read the enclosed handriten copy you will agree that this book will make me milions.
 I have chosen you to reprezent my book and ensure I get the best deal posible including a large persentage of all film rights and merchandizing.
 I expect you to contact me forthwith with a contract so that no time is wasted and I can begin my meteorik rise to fame and fortune which will make even JK Rowling's career look mediocre.

Yours expektantly

A. L Ousywriter


P.S - I have also included my own drawings for which I expect to be paid dubble.

P.P.S - Please don't keep me waiting, if you miss out on this deal you will always regret it!!!!!

P.P.P.S - I have riten another 17 books about Bunpire's adventures and these will be available to you once the contract has been signed.

P.P.P.P.S - Please don't suggest any changes or editing as my genius cannot be interfered with or even understud by most people.