Forgetting is Easy

It's been a while since I posted, nearly a year in fact. (oops)

There's been plenty going on but the urge to blog has been strangely absent, perhaps because of the dangerous amount of time I spend on twitter where my thoughts can appear as I think them and without the unnecessary need to plan and focus and edit in the same way that a blog post requires.

If you have missed me on twitter (how?) or indeed if you never go near it then here is a very brief update of where I am with my writing -

I finished my MG fantasy adventure after much work (and some frenzied hair pulling) with the help of Imogen Cooper and Maurice Lyon at The Golden Egg Academy and sent it out to agents in September. In October I signed with my fabulous and amazing agent, Kate Shaw from the The Viney Agency (pause for whooping and excited dancing)

So with one book finished and out of my hands I did as had been recommended and started my second book. I was confident that after learning so much from the Golden Egg experience and going through such a rigorous editing process that my next book would be sufficiently easier to write.

Dear reader I must tell you now...

 THAT I WAS WRONG.

The first draft of my new book has driven me half mad.

• It has been MIND NUMBINGLY HARD WORK. 
• I have questioned whether I could write at all.
• I have questioned my sanity.
• I have wondered whether it might be better to try something easier? Perhaps scuba diving with great white sharks? 
• I've thought seriously about giving it up entirely and admitting that writing was just not for me.

Maybe my first book was just a weird fluke? 

But, BUT...somehow with the help and support of lovely writerly friends I slashed and hacked my way through a first draft and I now have something really quite rubbish.

And I know what you're going to say - "first drafts are supposed to be bad" and I know that's true but I had forgotten exactly how BAD they were. I'd forgotten in fact just how much work went into the early part of novel writing, of getting the meat and bones onto the page in some semblance of a story.

For nearly a year I'd been polishing and revising and editing my previous book, but I'd been working on something that did at least resemble a book. The plot, the structure, the basics were already there - I just had to refine them and polish them up. I had forgotten the bit before. Almost entirely in fact. And yet the first draft of my last book had been just as bad, possibly worse, but all I remembered was the beautifully polished version...

At this point I had an epiphany.

I realised that all those references to birthing a book were not just about the visceral love and attachment you have to your baby book but also about the strange tricks your mind plays on you after it's all over. Just as women forget the pain of childbirth, so writers forget just how terrible their first drafts were.

Selective amnesia has it's reasons of course - the continuance of the human race for one but also, and even more sneakily, to trick writers into starting another book.

And of course I'm glad for it. Perhaps if I'd remembered I never would have started at all. Now I have a first draft, however horrible it is, I can get on with the art of making it better. And no doubt when it comes to book three and book four I'll be just as innocent and forgetful as before.

But at least editing is easy right?  I'm sure I remember it as being easy...

The loneliness of a wannabe author.

 Let's face it, writing is a solo sport. You need to spend days and weeks and months of time on your own to turn out a book and most of us, luckily, are quite happy in our own heads. We make friends with our characters, we live and breathe them and gain great satisfaction from their creation.
 But, the problem with the life of solitude comes when you're not writing. It comes when you're trying to work out if your book is any good or when you're starting to submit your work to agents and publishers because that endeavour requires help and support.
 Yes, you can read books about it, or search the internet and you can find huge amounts of information. But it's not the same as having real life people to talk to, people who understand what you're trying to do and why.
 So, are your friends and family the right people to help you? Perhaps.  Certainly at least it's beneficial if they support your love of writing and your quest to get published but whether they can give you decent feedback or truly understand how crushed you are at each rejection is another thing.
 My family and friends have been wonderful and I'm very grateful but in my opinion other writers are the only ones who can really understand how it feels. So, if you could find a whole group of writers, all of them willing to work and learn and pass on their own knowledge to others, how marvellous would that be?
 Very marvellous in my opinion. I joined the society for childrens book writers and illustrators eighteen months ago and SCBWI has been a fabulous resource for me . Not only was I able to find an online crit group but they also hold many events and classes where you can meet not only other writers, published and unpublished but also (shock, horror, gasp) real live industry professionals like agents and editors who are actually wonderfully nice people and very happy to talk to us.
 There is also an online community who will answer questions and share the highs and lows of the writers life. I have met some very lovely friends through scbwi as well as meeting agents who have gone on to read my work. I may still be unpublished but I'm much further on then I would have been without SCBWI so my recommendation to all of you is to join as well!
 It really  is the only place I've found that's not full of negativity about the chances of getting published but in fact often has stories from members who have found an agent or received a publishing deal. Stories like that make you believe in the possibilities and that is what we all need if we are ever to find our own slice of success.

How NOT to cope with rejection

Okay, so this week I have had my full manuscript rejected by two different agents. It's a bit like someone punching you in the stomach, waiting for you to get up and then headbutting you rather hard.
So, understandably I've felt a bit hard done by and no doubt every author at some point has felt the same but I believe there are some things you should never do, however upset you are.

1. Reply to the agent/publisher who rejected you and inform them that as they are obviously unable to appreciate true genius and should therefore quit their job and become a parking attendant instead.

2. Phone up the agent/publisher who rejected you and play "Every step you take," By The Police.

3. Turn up at the offices of the agent/publisher who rejected you and demand a meeting so you can explain in detail exactly how brilliant your work is.

4. Quit your job, sell your house and move to an island in the Scottish hebrides so you can be alone with your despair.

5. Set up a website entitiled "Why all agents/publishers are idiots/morons" and send the link to your entire contact list.

In fact don't do anything except send a nice polite note thanking the agent/publisher for their time.
And keep on hoping because one day it could be you.
(Only not if you've offended every agent in the country by doing one of the above!)

Cunning Ways to Cope with Rejection

Okay, here goes -

1. Rationalisation. (you know; it's not personal, it doesn't mean you can't write etc) If however that doesn't do it for you try,

2. Staying in your pajamas all day, eating ice cream and watching Gone with the wind (or whatever floats your boat of course). This will hopefully make you feel better but if you're still traumatised how about,

3. Go out with your friends, get paralytic and do embarrassing things you can't remember in the morning only to find they've been recorded by your "friends" and now your rendition of I will survive on the pool table while wearing a traffic cone has two million hits on YouTube. Now you have humiliation, mortification and horror to distract you from your rejection.

4. Realise that those who rejected you are obviously idiots/morons and not worthy of your talent. When you are more famous then J.K you will be able to ignore them at posh parties, knowing they are suffering at their own inadequacies for rejecting your work in the first place.

5. Okay this is my favourite and I must admit I stole it from Stephen King and his memoir "On Writing" - apparently in his youth he had a babysitter who would frequently decide to hold him down and fart on his head. In retrospect Stephen felt this helped him cope with his frequent rejections. So, remember the next time you get rejected that bad as it may seem at least noone held you down and farted on your head!