Tuesday, 13 December 2011

Superstitious moi?

I don't usually consider myself a superstitious person but recently found myself behaving quite oddly while waiting to hear back from agents. I started to imagine that somehow my behaviour could influence their decisions somehow, as if the cosmos was watching me and if I did/ didn't do a particular thing that would affect my luck and my chances of getting an agent.

Examples of my madness included;

Ten minutes of fantasising about what I would say when an agent rang to offer me a deal led to hours of trauma that by indulging in my little fantasy I had forever ruined any chance of it ever coming true.
I also spent some time trying to prepare myself for the worst - but then worried that my lack of confidence and belief would in fact be responsible for my rejection.

I had a small crisis about not having anything suitable to wear if I was ever invited to meet an agent. This would of course result in my wearing something unsuitable to the meeting whereby the agent will change her mind about representing me due to my horrendous wardrobe choices.
So then I found the perfect outfit. Only I refused to buy it in case such an act of reckless confidence would somehow be jinxing my chances...

There are more along the same lines but to be frank they're too embarassing to recount. The truth is, I was trying to pretend that I had some influence over the decisions of others but let's face it once it's out there, once your work is submitted, you have no control. Decisions will be made, regardless of anything I do or don't do.
The only control we have is making sure that whatever we send out is as good as possible, that we're sending it to the right people and then the rest is up to fate, the cosmos and of course the good luck fairy who lives at the bottom of my garden...

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